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Bondi Beach Breakdown

Dec 22, 2016  ·  4 min read

words by alex robertson

Bondi Beach…. One of the most famous stretches of sand in the world! Desired by many but also a place that many are lucky enough to call home, myself included.

From Icebergs at the South end all the way to the North Bondi grassy knoll we’re talkin’ about 1.2km of sand.

Let me break it down for you in a way that we can all understand. Who likes ice cream? Everyone likes ice cream! Let’s think of Bondi Beach as a tub of Neapolitan ice cream. Let’s say North Bondi is the chocolate, South Bondi is the strawbs and that whole middle section there is the vanilla.

For anyone who knows Bondi they will know exactly why I awarded the chocolate slice to the North end of Bondi. The good ol’ grassy knoll – a small hill of grass draped with acai eating, coconut drinking, oily chocolate brown bodies with only two things on their mind – “Am I lying in the right direction for maximised tanning?” and “What will be my next Instagram shot?”

North Bondi is also a place of play for the little families with grommets and just around the rocks at the boat ramp you will find all the other families with “fur” babies. North Bondi boat ramp is the only place on Bondi Beach you can take your fur baby without getting done by the rangers – and trust me they are ruthless in this town.

Most sunny afternoons you will find at least 10 doggos going bat shit crazy at North Bondi boat ramp – jumping off rocks, wrestling over people’s towels and chasing the only thing that matters in this world… The ball…. Ball is life. While just around the rocks in the kiddy pools, a whole bunch of new ‘human’ bubbas get sandy feet for the first time.

Now let’s take a little trip down the tub to the strawberry zone. Surrounded by accents from all around the globe you won’t know what country you are in down there – Backpackers Express as the locals call it. Backpackers is often the star of the show on the TV series ‘Bondi Rescue’ – known for its dangerous rip and endless rescues. But on a good day you will find the occasional yogi on the concrete ledge, surfers doing their stretch ritual before paddling out into the big blue, the Brazilian tribe kicking their soccer ball to the beat of their own drum and Japanese tourists recording all of this with the latest piece of technology. Oh and wait, the reason they roll in with the Strawberry trophy is there’s a whoooole lot of burnt Englishmen in that neck of the woods.

The space between these two very distinct parts of Bondi I’m calling the land of vanilla – a whole lot of white sand covered by a mix of all kinds of folk from around Sydney and the world. Hire an umbrella, a couple of chairs sit back and relax while breathing in that Bondi air.

But we must not forget the most important flavour of them all – The Boys in Blue, let’s call them Blueberries. The blueberries are our trusty lifeguards. When you actually break Bondi Beach down into sections and think about how few of the boys there are and how many lives they are looking after, it becomes very real how important their job is. Thanks for keeping us safe boys, you guys are the best!

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